Taking Medication - it's not scary

Originally posted on 3rd July 2019.

It's not weak, its knowing when to ask for help.

I had been offered medication when I was younger (around 18). However at the time I felt I didn't need it.

I spoke about it before in a previous blog when I started the medication, and how this time I really felt I needed something. I just needed something to help me cope and function, as I couldn't function properly.

I started antidepressants and a beta blocker tablet. The beta blocker is a tablet I take up to 4 times a day, as and when the anxiety was crippling. It wasn't for the thoughts, it was for the physical symptoms I was having. (I will talk about these in another blog).

The doctor had said it can get worst before it gets better, and I really didn't think they would hit me as hard as they did. But writing this blog 3 months on from that moment, they have absolutely made a difference.

In the first week and up until week 4, I was having all the side effects. It was scary in the beginning because I wasn't sure what was happening. But I constantly kept speaking to my doctor and counsellor who were so reassuring that it was normal and it will pass.

In terms of the symptoms I was having, I will list them below:

- blurred vision

- dizziness and lightheadedness

- loss of appetite

- shakes

- fatigue

- loss of motivation

- insomnia

- butterflies and nervous feeling in stomach

- feeling like I was going to faint

I had some of these symptoms prior with the panic attacks, mainly the blurred vision and dizziness.

Taking the tablets, it did make these pre-exsisting symptoms worst in the beginning. The loss of appetite was something that was completely new to me, as I have always loved food and luckily never had a bad relationship with food. I realised I was scared to eat, because one if the symptoms of anxiety is the fear off, and I had the fear of choking. Which is a symptom. This made so much sense, and that is exactly how I felt!

Once the symptoms started to subside, it made a huge difference

It took 4 - 6 weeks for the tablets to really work, by tablets I mean the antidepressants. I kept hoping that they would work sooner but with these I can really advise, be patient, they will run their course and you will really reap the benefits.

I know most people go through different tablets to find the right one, and I was very lucky the first set I tried, worked. It did take alot of reassurance from the doctor that I was on the right tablet and dose, but it is just waiting.

As long as there is no extreme symptoms like fainting or convulsions, you do just ride it out. But I can highly recommend if you have any concerns at all, speak to your doctor.

I am on 20mg citalopram, and this is the one that worked for me. I am still on these 3 months later, and it doesn't matter how long I'm on them for. They really have made a difference.

Everyone has a different experience, but I am keen to share mine so people understand the effects and how they can help.

I would also recommend reading up on different antidepressants on the NHS website if you are either on them or thinking about. Always speak to your doctor. The doctor will also be able to talk you through them.

If you have any questions at all I am more than happy to talk. Just pop me a message.

Thanks again,

Danni