It gets worst before it gets better

Originally posted 5th June 2019.

In my last blog, I talked about the lead up and the feelings I was having. I will be following on from this in this blog here.

The next step I took was to go back to the doctors. All the tests were fine, but I still wasn’t. I knew at this point I was having some anxiety, but I felt so crippled by it and I was starting to feel like I couldn't function. That’s the only way I could describe what was happening. I was feeling absolutely crippled with it, and that is what I said to the doctors.

Imagine you’re constantly overthinking the worst case scenario for everything. It's a constant worry feeling.

I had spoken to the doctors a few weeks ago before about this, about not feeling right and I felt like I needed to talk (first step is to recognise when you need help). They were very supportive, but at that stage I didn’t really know what to say, as I didn’t know what was happening.

So I was having hypnotherapy for the phobia (as I thought this was the issue) and the doctor was happy with that, and they recommended Time To Talk, the NHS Counselling service.

After the doctor said that, I knew I needed counselling right away. I have had this before and it is truly incredible. I will go on to talk about counselling in another blog.

Is exactly what you start to feel like. The feelings are so real.

After the McDonalds incident in the last blog, I knew something was wrong. The week after I felt unwell in myself also. I had a stomach ache and was off sick (I know now this was the anxiety). So I went to the doctors again and this time it all came out. I went about the stomach ache but it all came out about feeling overwhelmed, worried, anxious, and I just couldn't function and I felt like I was getting to breaking point (although I didn't know what that meant at the time). We spoke about medication and I really felt I needed something at this point.

I talk more about the medication in another post, but I started citalopram that day and the doctor did advise this all might get worst before it gets better. And it really did.

In the next post I will talk more about the week I started medication.

Thanks for being here :)

Danni