A reflection months down the line - 2019.

Originally posted Jan 2, 2021.

I seemed to write alot of diary enteries but never posted. Maybe I wasn't ready at the time. However, now nearly 2 years on I think it's good to hsare how we feel to share experiences. That is how we learn and grow.

4 - 5 months down the line, I can't believe how far I have come from a very broken mess. I am grateful every day that I am now at a stage where I am functioning.

However,

I haven't been feeling myself for the past couple of weeks.

I did notice something was amiss, I was feeling more anxious, about little things again, about things in the future that might never happen and things in the past that have already been and gone.

I had put all these self care practises in place, I was doing them daily, religiously, and was feeling amazing.

I still am doing well, but I have let slip the self practises I was working on. It is so easy to let old ways back in, and I have been practising them for years.

Something my councillor mentioned was, that I changed a lot of things very quickly. And although the things I had changed were making me happy, it's still a huge lifestyle change.

I know the person I want to be, its just going to take time to get to it.

Time: I have always been so impatient!

I got to the point where I was functioning, then I forgot. And right now, I still have things to work on.

The point I raise from this blog is that, it I'd a long journey to recovery, there will be ups and down days. It's all learning, I am still learning. Some days I've let it get to me, because if you have anxiety you will know, that some days it's just easier to not fight.

It's ok to have that day, tomorrow is a new day. Sleep well, and pick yourself back up tomorrow.

You can do it, only you.

Danni